Anxious...

My life has been so crazy this past month, and can you believe it? October is already over! This month went by really fast, and so much has changed in this one month alone. I'm still living at home, which has been really good. At first it took some adjusting and very intense conversations with the parental units, but I am so blessed. My family is amazing despite the bumps in the road. I'm finally used to working my three jobs. I am no longer sick. I do need to take naps of course, but other than that I'm good to go. I just wanted to share about what I'm re-learning and I always hesitate in how much to share about what I'm learning spiritually but I'm really excited for how God has been proving himself faithful. I think this entire year has just been ups and downs, and I'm such an emotional girl now because of it. I hate it now. I cry all the time, for everything. I've kinda been going through something personal, and as I daily surrender it to the Lord, He brings about truth. He's so faithful to answer my prayers and I know that each step is a step of faith. I have been re-learning not to be so anxious. This morning as I was reading the sermon on the mount and when Jesus asked his disciples, "Can a single worry add a moment to your life?" I was so convicted. The answer is NO of course. And lately, these past couple of weeks have been hard, and today I finally took a plunge, and made a choice to just let go of things and allow God to work out His will in my life. Being a girl, it's so easy to anticipate everything under the sun and over analyze every little detail, but it's all a waste of time, especially since those moments are robbed of it's intentionality. I was talking to a friend today, and I was telling her "I don't mind being patient, I just want to know what I'm waiting for"...lol. and right after I said those words, I wanted to take them back immediately. I totally didn't think that through. That's the whole point of faith and putting our trust in the Lord. I can expect God to do great things, I don't need to worry, and everything doesn't always have to so planned out. Life sucks sometimes, and it's not all perfect, but Jesus is going to take care of me no matter what. Anyway, those thoughts are probably all skewed, but I can't wait to see what happens in the future. I am excited to see God work, and also I pray that I take this breather and refocus the things that lay deep within my heart. Even though I have three jobs, it's keeping me focus on my priorities, and I'm getting so much more done. Funny how that happens....


p.s. I'm so happy for the holidays this year. It'll be my first time in four years where I'll be home 24/7 to enjoy it completely with my amazing family. I can't wait to start baking too! The Holidays are going to be here before we know it :)